Day 6 - 30 Paintings in 30 Days

"Juicy Apple"

Acrylic, Gessoboard, 5x7 $35

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Today is Day 6 of the 30/30 January challenge. I slipped and skipped yesterday but back on it today. Starting right up in the morning is best for me and I get so pumped that I can paint all day into night. I plan on getting a day ahead so that I don't panic if something comes up or the grief is unbearable. I have to plan painting around yoga, however, because that is my lifesaver in a sea of grief. No problem, it's just an hour and close-by.

I've gotten tremendous comfort from reading about the afterlife since Mark passed over. As soon as he left, I felt a desperate need to find out where he went and so the investigation began. It is pretty incredible that there are so many credible sources who have written about this subject yet few are talking about it. (Well Anderson Cooper is because of the movie coming out, yes!) For starters I recommend Between Death and Life by Dolores Cannon....excellent. The eye opener for me is that of the many books I've read about this (and there are many more) they all say the same thing in slightly different tones. I feel more comforted than I did before reading these since the truth is that we don't die. Energy cannot be destroyed. When it is our time to transition over to the spirit realm, or afterlife, or hereafter, leaving the body is painless and very quick. Oftentimes, we don't know that it's happened because we are the same person....we think, we feel, we remember....we just don't have a clumsy body. After reviewing what has just happened and adjusting to being outside of the body, we continue on our journey to the spirit realm feeling peace and full of love. Our loved ones are always with us in spirit. I do talk to Mark a lot because he's right here....Hi Mark, I love you.....

Day 2 - 30 Paintings in 30 Days

"Robin, too"

Acrylic, Gessoboard, 6x6"

SOLD

Day 2 of the 30 Paintings in 30 Days Challenge done! It feels good to be painting again.

I wondered if I would be able to do this. Since Mark left this earth plane on 8/24, my life has been consumed with grief. Yes, four months and four days ago, I lost my soulmate, lover, friend, confidant, clown, supporter, rock, honey bunny, spoon, my everything. It's quite an experience--the depths of which I have never, ever experienced before. The loss, sadness, loneliness, quiet, and the missing of all the qualities of the man that I loved so intensely put me in a place and space that is indescribable. I'm not going to attempt to describe it today because I have a painting to do but I will share here and there what I am going through. How does one not talk about something that is all consuming? I heard a medium yesterday say that a grieving person needs to talk about their lost one all of the time. This is difficult since most people have moved on and don't want to hear it. They feel that they need to help. There is no way to help. We just want to talk about our loved one. I love you Mark. You know that. I'm painting again, honey bunny.

Day 1 of the January 30 Paintings in 30 Days. Yeah!

"my robin"

Acrylic on Gesso Board, 6x6
NFS

Whew,  I finished my painting, edited the photo and posted it to Leslie's Blog with about 8 minutes to spare before midnight. Then, as I was editing my blog post, I deleted it....time for BED....!! Will I learn not to procrastinate.....nope, it's the way I roll! Goodnight...

A sad post, with hope....

My commitment to the painting challenge has changed a bit but I will hop on board as I can.

You see, the day that I signed on, my husband died unexpectedly and suddenly. I signed on totally oblivious to the reality of life....that my world could turn upside down in a second. Needless to say, the past two weeks have been a blur and very sad time.

I am going to continue with the September 30 Paintings in 30 Days as I am able, and to dedicate this to Mark, my biggest fan, and use painting in my healing. I feel good about that. It's one thing, as many know, that can take us out of our left brain, logical, sometimes tormenting side and bring us love, enjoyment and light. Edit: no, could not continue with the challenge. Grieving my spouse is a challenge that is indescribably and horrible and heartbreaking. It will never end, really, just possibly change over time for this man affected my life in immeasurable ways.

Mark Robbin, MD, a man who dedicated his life to giving to others, healing the sick, and to loving me. I love you so much.

My Mark, My Love